Ghost Rider **

I've got hugs for you, if you were born in the 80's ...

Director: Mark Stephen Johnson

Writer: Mark Stephen Johnson

Stars: Nicholas Cage, Eva Mendes, Wes Bentley


I threw up my hands in despair throughout this film, not because of what it was, but because of what it might have been. What it was was a serviceable, bigdumbloud action movie, with little or no atmosphere, charisma or subtlety - save from one brilliant blink-and-you'll miss-it moment involving Nicholas Cage and a martini glass of jellybeans.




This is the kind of movie Joel Schumacher would have made if they had had 90's special effects in 1986. It's bold, it's got loud music and fast bikes, it thinks it's waaay tougher than it is and it's got great actors spouting the kind of shithouse dialogue which would have seemed trite even in a Michael Bay flick. All this might be alright if it were done with a healthy dose of irony and a knowing wink to the present (that is, 2007, a time of Sin City-esque, neo-noir comic book adaptations which match their big budgets and bigger explosions with snappy dialogue and savvy societal commentary.) But it's done with all the intense sobriety of Home and Away actors.



As comic book adaptations go, this one thinks its Constantine, but lacks the intelligence or atmosphere which made that one a hit. It's got the same self-destructive anti-hero, pacts with the devil (who is played with subtle menace in both as a coiffed bloke in a suave suit) and ghostly overtones. Perhaps if Frank Lawrence had made this, it would have been a 4-star movie. But he's already made that film, two years ago - with Keanu Reeves.



Every time the impressive sets or special effects or Nicholas Cage's self-effacing performance threatened to actually pull this movie OUT of the camp, crass B-movie hell on an A-movie budget in which it finds itself, the moment is crushed. Usually by the relentless crashing score or the dialogue so pedestrian it should be accompanied by a lollipop lady.



The actors, with the exception of the virtual unknowns (who are just awful) executing the ho-hum prologue, impressively manage to stay the right side of camp, although American Beauty's Wes Bentley does relish the opportunity to ham it up on occasion. Eva Mendes is sportingly enthusiastic about playing the eye candy, and does provide light relief (not to mention plenty of attractive tanned cleavage for the teenage boys). Cage is solid as always, although at times a little old and craggy for us to really believe he's the same age as Mendes.



So, I'd ignore it if I were you. Don't put yourself through the experience. NO amount of jellybean-swirling or Mendes-ogling is worth the depression you will experience every time they set themselves up for redemption ... and then cock it up. A little like the Rider himself, perhaps ...